Author: Sarah (Page 2 of 5)
This quarter of my life will always be bookended by two important events: my birthday near the beginning, and our anniversary near the end. Both were celebrated peacefully, with good food and quality time.
In between was the more exciting, flashy stuff. A road trip to watch the eclipse, a weekend away camping, a Pride exhibit at the History Museum, a couple of Bad Movie nights. I did some cat sitting for one friend, and helped another friend move. And I nurtured what looks to be a successful book club, which is already on our third read.
Everything wasn’t all sunshine and roses, of course. My parents both tested positive for COVID so I’ve barely seen them. I’ve been dealing with depression and low mood, and some brand new sleeping issues.
But there’s a creative spark in me that I’m trying desperately not to let flicker out, and a lot more summery plans on the calendar. Let’s see how the latter half of the year shakes out.
- Movies Watched: Scary Movie 5, Kuso, Corner Office, Missing, #No_Filter, The Poughkeepsie Tapes, Late Night with the Devil, Poor Things, The Menu, Men, The Perfection, Foodfight!, Talk to Me, The Feast, Time Bandits, Zombieland, Renfield, Deadstream, Happy Death Day, Cabin Fever, Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Glass Onion, Ben & Arthur, The Contestant, I Saw the TV Glow, Chris Fleming: Hell
- Books Read: Ice Planet Barbarians (Ruby Dixon), Barbarian Alien (Ruby Dixon), Past Crimes (Jason Pinter)
- TV Watched: Smiling Friends, Taskmaster AU, Childrens Hospital, Taskmaster, The Osbournes, Quiet on Set: The Dark Side of Kids TV, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Baby Reindeer, Guy’s Grocery Games, Van-pires, Game Changer, Tales from the Crypt, Reba, New Girl, Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters from Beverly Hills, The Good Place, Community, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Ink Master: Redemption
Top 10 tracks:
- Fortnight (Taylor Swift & Post Malone)
- I Hate It Here (Taylor Swift)
- Guilty as Sin? (Taylor Swift)
- Too Sweet (Hozier)
- Down Bad (Taylor Swift)
- The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived (Taylor Swift)
- loml (Taylor Swift)
- Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus (Taylor Swift)
- But Daddy I Love Him (Taylor Swift)
- Good Luck, Babe! (Chappell Roan)
Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
a lot of advice these days hinges on the adage “just be yourself”
when you’re going on first dates, when you’re trying to make new friends, when you’re pursuing a creative outlet that infuses your personality
but as an autistic woman, this advice has never made any sense to me
which self? which part?
should i turn prismatic, then? which color should i display?
because i guarantee, no one will want the full picture
cropping out my humanity
there will always be a detail they don’t want to swallow
a glob of paint, a stray brushstroke, an anatomical error
i have to reduce myself to what’s appropriate – a brand, a niche – instead of a breathing being
so sure, let me take a kitchen knife and start slicing off slivers
peeling and dicing and chunking and coring
no one wants to reach the pit
no one wants to see the seeds
no one wants to eat me whole
monetize me
capitalize me
tell me you hate me
integrating my real name
and online persona could be
like instigating a civil war
they want a passive lover
a soft, pretty thing
isn’t it so romantic
despising parts of yourself
so someone else can stomach the rest
i can’t make myself palatable
small and meek
so i’ll be nothing
Although I’m a little late on the uptake, I wanted to give the first quarter of 2024 the moment it deserves. January was quiet, starting with a fancy dinner to ring in the new year, then after that life turned into a rollercoaster.
Loads of cooking. Car repairs that took forever. Hearing one of my favorite albums live, and meeting the man himself, William Fitzsimmons. Loads of snow. Publishing a small volume of poetry. Taskmaster game night. Plumbing issues. Participating in a League of Legends tournament. Starting a book club with some of my Twitch friends. Multiple birthday parties. Moving to a new office and promoting the grand opening. Hosting our third annual Jenga tournament.
In spite of my excitement and dedication to making my “Jesus year” one for the books, so far it isn’t going too hot. Watch this space though. There’s still time; I need to keep reminding myself.
- Movies Watched: Date Movie, Scary Movie 4, The Iron Claw, Ricky Stanicky, Epic Movie, Dream Scenario, Superhero Movie, Disaster Movie
- Books Read: You, Again (Kate Goldbeck), Don’t Wait Til I Die To Love Me (Michael Tavon), Morning Glory Milking Farm (C.M. Nascosta), Pretty Boys Are Poisonous (Megan Fox), The Anomaly (Herve Le Tellier)
- TV Watched: Taskmaster, Love is Blind, Kitchen Nightmares, The Great British Bake Off, Love on the Spectrum US, Love on the Spectrum AU, Taskmaster AU, Iron Chef: Quest for an Iron Legend, Very Important People, Naked Attraction, Tales from the Crypt, Quiet on Set: The Dark Side of Kids TV
Top 10 tracks:
- Clean (Noah Floersch)
- Crush (FLETCHER)
- Pocketknife (Eddie & Lights)
- LosT (Bring Me the Horizon)
- American Teenager (Ethel Cain)
- Magic Lantern Days (mewithoutYou)
- Watermelon Ascot (mewithoutYou)
- Pale Horse (mewithoutYou)
- Batman (The Front Bottoms)
- Mexican War Streets (mewithoutYou)
